90-Day: Why Love Matters

This program is not another diet program! Did you know over 95% of all diets fail… this program is about restoring your relationship to food to sanity.

We will Embrace the Healing Power of Anti-Inflammatory Diets!

Please see attached and come prepared with your question about Anti-Inflammatory Diets!

Let’s talk about Food Serenity. Food Serenity is returning to a place where food is consumed for nourishment, energy, and honoring your body. No longer using food to achieve a feeling, (numbing out, stress relief, comfort) but rather using food for its rightful purpose.

My business is to eat whole foods and move my body. The real work is to love and appreciate the body I have today. My weight is God’s business. Wherever your weight ends up, it ends up. You cannot control the number on the scale, but you can control your behaviors and perspectives. When your behaviors fall short, focus on your perspective. Appreciate what’s gone well and encourage yourself to keep going.

Unconditional love is setting yourself up for success. What do you need to be successful? What are the building blocks to a healthy, fulfilling life? Attached is a checklist I give my clients, as self-care is often a new idea for so many. The purpose of the checklist is to celebrate your successes each day, big and small. In fact, all major accomplishments are an accumulation of small successes, and we need to recognize them and celebrate each one.

Have you met your Inner Saboteur?

Does your internal dialogue drain your energy? Can you identify with any of the following inner saboteur when it comes to changing your relationship to food?

Critical Saboteur

I Can’t Wait Saboteur

Yeah But – Saboteur

Mindful Eating: Mindfulness is rooted in Eastern contemplative traditions and is the proposed “heart” of Buddhist meditation. In Buddhist traditions, mindful eating is considered a fundamental aspect in a way of living that helps prevent unnecessary harm to one’s body and mind.

Food addiction is a the loss of control over the ability to stop eating certain foods. Scientifically, food addiction is a cluster of chemical dependencies on specific foods; after the ingestion of highly palatable foods such as sugar, excess fat and/or salt the brains of some people develop a physical craving for these foods.

Over time, the progressive eating of these foods distorts a person's thinking and leads to negative consequences they do not want but cannot stop.

“Right now, the food industry is not only generating billions of dollars by designing hyper-palatable combinations of sugar, fat, and salt, but also creating products that can rewire our brains, driving us to eat more and more of those products.” David Kessler

When it comes to eating, there are two parts of your brain that drive you. One part, the biological drive, tells you that you need to eat to stay alive. The other part is the desire drive, or the hedonic drive, and it has nothing to do with our biological need for food.

Let’s address some mental blocks you may experience as you decide to heal your relationship with food.

I’ve been working with food addicts for over twenty years, and what I know for sure is that a craving is almost always a lie. I had to learn to recognize my addict voice and become familiar with the lies it told me so I would stop falling for them.

The Difference between a Diet vs a Meal Plan.

What does Withdraw feel like?

Withdrawing from ultra-processed foods, fast foods, and junk food can be a challenging but ultimately rewarding journey. In the initial stages, it often feels like breaking free from a powerful addiction. Many people experience intense cravings, mood swings, and irritability as their bodies adjust to the absence of the high levels of sugar, salt, and unhealthy fats found in these foods.

Three Pillars of Food Addiction Recovery

Cognitive Distortions:

• Cognitive distortions are simply ways that our mind convinces us of something that isn’t really true.

• They are often called dysfunctional, negative or automatic thoughts.

• Usually used to reinforce negative thinking or emotions — telling ourselves things that sound rational and accurate, but just keep us feeling bad about ourselves.

Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT), is all about the HOW:

• How to stay motivated

• How to challenge sabotaging thinking

Cognitive Behavior Therapy (CBT) is a psychotherapy approach emphasizing the intricate interplay between thoughts, emotions, and behaviors. The theory posits that our cognitive interpretations of situations influence our emotional states, which in turn dictate our actions. A singular event can be perceived in multiple ways, and depending on that perception, it can elicit a range of emotional and behavioral responses.

A Guide to the Four Steps in Cognitive Behavior Therapy (CBT) for unhelpful eating episodes:

1. Capture Automatic Thought: Identify thoughts preceding unhelpful behaviour

2. Label Cognitive Distortion: Permission Thought or Self-critical Thought

3. Challenge Sabotaging Thought: Where is the evidence that this thought is true?

4. Create New Realistic Thought: Summarize evidence to replace automatic thought

Dive Deep into: Step #2: Label cognitive distortion: Permission Thought, Self-critical Thought

Dive Deep: Step #3: Challenge sabotaging thought: Where is the evidence that this thought is true?

Dive Deep: Step #4: Create new realistic thought - Summarize evidence to replace automatic thought

Top Three Eating Traps:

#1 I deserve a treat.

#2 The diet will start tomorrow.

#3 This won’t work; I’ve failed at every diet.

Thinking Trap #2: “I’ll start the diet / again tomorrow”

There are two prominent findings from all the diet studies done over the years:

#1: All diets work.

#2: All diets fail.

Weight loss follows the same basic curve:

All diets in the short term seem to produce weight loss. By six to twelve months, weight loss plateaus, followed by a relentless regain. It’s not your fault, the diet was never going to work!

Thinking Trap #3: “This won’t work - I’ve failed at every diet”

“There is no sense in punishing your future for the mistakes of your past. Forgive yourself, grow from it, and then let it go.”

Why is Mindful Eating so important?

Mindfulness is rooted in Eastern contemplative traditions and is the proposed “heart” of Buddhist meditation. In Buddhist traditions, mindful eating is considered a fundamental aspect in a way of living that helps prevent unnecessary harm to one’s body and mind.

Exercise and physical activity should be enjoyable. It gives you a chance to unwind, enjoy the outdoors or simply engage in activities that make you happy. Physical activity can also help you connect with family or friends in a fun social setting.

Population studies consistently link short sleep duration and excess weight, generally with 7 hours being the point where weight gain starts. Sleeping 5 to 6 hours was associated with a more than 50% increased of weight gain. The more sleep deprivation, the more weight gained.

Creating Your Village of Support

My village started in the rooms of Overeaters Anonymous, where I took my first baby steps towards food serenity. I stopped weighing myself and instead focused on developing a healthy relationship with food and myself. I learned about the importance of getting proper sleep, developed a sustainable meal plan, and started exercising regularly.

Aligning Your 3 Sails: Thoughts > Actions > Words

“You may believe that you are responsible for what you do, but not for what you think. The truth is that you responsible for what you think, because it is only at this level that you can exercise choice. What you do comes from what you think.”

- A Course in Miracles

Aligning Your 3 Sails: Thoughts > Actions > Words

“The food industry is not only generating billions of dollars for itself by designing hyperpalatable combinations of sugar, fat, and salt – it’s also creating products that have the capacity to rewire our brains, driving us to seek out more and more of those products.”

- The End of Overeating – David Kessler

Aligning Your 3 Sails: Thoughts > Actions > Words

The Power of Your Mind in Achieving Health Goals

We are not our thoughts. Just as the sky isn't defined by the clouds that pass through it, we are not defined by the transient thoughts that drift through our minds. A fleeting thought or a sudden craving doesn't command our actions, even though at times it might feel overwhelming.

Aligning Your 3 Sails: Thoughts > Actions > Words

The most important relationship you’ll ever have in this lifetime is with you, not your parents, siblings, or romantic partners, but with you! How you relate to yourself will be reflected in your health, your relationships, your finances, and your home. This relationship with yourself is typically given very little attention, time, or nourishment.

Aligning Your 3 Sails: Thoughts > Actions > Words

The Power of Your Words

It's often said that if we want a glimpse of where we'll be in 5 years, we should pay attention to the words we use today. Isn't that profound?

Building Trust

Starting a love affair with oneself might seem like an unconventional idea, but it's truly one of the most empowering journeys we can embark on. By looking in the mirror and seeing the very best in ourselves, not only do we embrace our own beauty and strength, but it also magnifies and brings out the best in us. It's like igniting a spark that lights up our world.

Trusting in Life's Imperfections: A Journey Within.

In the intricate dance of life, it's natural to stumble, to trip over our feet, to face moments of doubt and uncertainty. Yet, it's essential to remember that every misstep, every shortcoming, is merely a stepping stone, guiding us towards a higher growth and understanding.

“I have never seen a person grow or change in a constructive direction when motivated by guilt, shame, and/or hate.”

̶ William Goldberg

Nothing will slow you down more than discouragement. What are the first thoughts you have in the morning? How do those thoughts affect the rest of your day?

The thoughts you allow to occupy your mind will affect your motivation and energy. Start building energy, momentum, and inspiration in your life. Start your day by looking for everything that is right and beautiful about you!

Think of meditation as a personal timeout. It's a moment to pause from the hustle and bustle, to center yourself. In a world filled with notifications, deadlines, and constant demands, meditation offers a break, guiding you to a quieter space inside.

Eight Steps to Meditating: Your Personal Meditation Guide

These steps, simple yet profound, are doorways to our inner sanctuary.

Embracing Rituals and Routines for a Life of Joy and Vitality

Rituals and routines are the threads that weave consistency into our existence, the rhythms that guide the dance of our days.

Embracing Rituals and Routines for a Life of Joy and Vitality

Creating a Spiritual Practice:

Your spiritual practice need not be complex; it can be as simple as breathing with intention or as profound as intentions whispered at dawn. It's in these moments of conscious connection that you honor your inner universe, creating ripples of tranquility that touch all aspects of your life. Listen to what resonates with your soul, and let that be your guide.

What is codependency?

“A codependent person is one who has let another person’s behavior affect him or her, and who is obsessed with controlling that person’s behavior: hence codependents often end up in relationships with addicted spouses or lovers.

Co-dependents are care-takers - rescuers. They rescue, then they persecute, then they end up victimized"

̶ Melody Beattie – Codependent No More

In quiet reflection, I've encountered the concept of codependency and seen how it might be influencing our dance of give and take. It's subtle yet powerful—how we anticipate needs, how we rush to solve problems that aren't ours, and how we find safety in giving, often ignoring our boundaries.

Denial Patterns in Codependency

In "Codependent No More," Melody Beattie identifies denial as a core aspect of codependency, with individuals often minimizing or rationalizing their entanglement in another person's problems, such as addiction. This denial serves as a defense mechanism to avoid the painful truth of their own unmanageable lives and their complicity in maintaining unhealthy dynamics.

Low Self-Esteem Patterns in Codependency

In "Codependent No More," Melody Beattie addresses the crippling issue of low self-worth in codependency. Codependents often prioritize others' needs over their own, perpetuating self-neglect. Beattie underscores that their self-value becomes contingent on being needed, locking them into a caretaker role that undermines their own health and happiness.

Compliance Patterns in Codependency

Compliance patterns in codependency are behaviors that individuals adopt to keep harmony in unbalanced relationships, often neglecting their own well-being to accommodate others. Melody Beattie, in "Codependent No More," describes these patterns as a response to the fear of rejection, highlighting the tendency of codependents to place others' needs above their own, which can lead to resentment and loss of personal identity.

Codependent Triangle

Melody Beattie's "Codependent Triangle" model illustrates the dynamics in codependent relationships, featuring three roles: Rescuer, Victim, and Persecutor.

Embracing Detachment with Love

This means accepting that everyone has the freedom to make their own choices and follow their unique paths, even if we don't agree with them.

Understanding that each person's journey is personal and filled with their own lessons is key. While it's tough to see loved ones struggle, stepping in to 'rescue' them can hinder their growth. They need to experience life, make mistakes, and learn from them.

The "Blue Zones" are fascinating regions in the world known for their remarkable concentration of centenarians – people living to or beyond the age of 100. These five zones are testament to the beauty of diverse cultures and lifestyles, each contributing uniquely to longevity and health. Let's explore and celebrate these extraordinary places.

Blue Zones demonstrate two key strategies for longevity:

• Move Naturally

• Purpose (Ikigai/Plan de Vida): People in Blue Zones have a strong sense of purpose, known as ikigai in Okinawa and plan de vida in Nicoya.

Embracing the Blue Zone Strategies for a Longer, Healthier Life

1. Down Shift: The Art of Stress Management

2. 80% Rule: Mindful Eating for Lifelong Health

Embracing Longevity: The Blue Zone Way

In our quest for a healthier, longer life, the Blue Zones offer invaluable lessons. These regions, where people live exceptionally long lives, reveal key lifestyle strategies. Two standout practices are the Plant based diets and some Wine.

1. The Power of a Plant-Based Diet

2. Wine: The Role of Moderate Wine Consumption

Longevity Lessons from Blue Zones: Belonging and Family First

In the quest for longevity, Blue Zones - areas with high numbers of centenarians - highlight two key strategies: Belonging to a faith community and prioritizing family.

The "Right Tribe" concept from the Blue Zones strategy underscores the significance of strong social networks in achieving longevity. The 'Right Tribe' refers to having a circle of close friends and family who encourage healthy habits, provide emotional support, and foster a sense of belonging and purpose.

The "Blue Zone" in Sardinia, Italy, is famous for its high concentration of centenarians, largely attributed to their diet and lifestyle. Their daily meals are simple, wholesome, and based on fresh, locally-sourced ingredients. B

Why practice self-compassion?

Research shows that people who are more self-compassion are:

• Happier

• Less Stressed

• More Resilient

Self-compassion is strongly related to mental health well-being, people who practice self-compassion experience less depression, less anxiety, less stress and less perfectionism.

Why practice self-compassion?

Self-compassion is key to true happiness, which is a deep sense of well-being and contentment. It involves treating oneself with kindness and understanding, especially in difficult times, leading to reduced self-criticism and a stable sense of self-worth. This approach enhances resilience, allowing challenges to be seen as growth opportunities, and promotes emotional balance by encouraging acceptance of one's emotions.

Why practice self-compassion?

Self-compassion significantly reduces stress by soothing our sympathetic nervous system, the part responsible for the "fight or flight" response. When we replace harsh self-criticism with kindness and understanding, it lowers stress hormones and promotes a state of calm. This shift also helps us feel less isolated in our struggles, as self-compassion reminds us that making mistakes is a universal human experience.

Why practice self-compassion?

Self-compassion is key to resilience. It involves treating oneself with kindness and understanding, especially during setbacks. This mindset helps individuals bounce back more easily, viewing failures not as defeats but as opportunities for growth

Practicing self-compassion is a powerful way to improve your emotional well-being. Here are some effective methods:

• Writing a Letter to Yourself

• Analyzing Your Self-Talk

• Developing a Self-Compassion Mantra

• Meditation

Life in Review Exercise

• Are you in a relationship that nurtures your spirit and enhances your life?

• Does your career inspire you?

• Do you have the necessary boundaries in place to live a healthy, whole life?

• Do you care for and nourish your body, mind, and spirit?

• Are the thoughts that occupy your mind energizing?

Exercise: Writing a Letter of Forgiveness to Yourself

Objective: To cultivate self-compassion and forgiveness by writing a heartfelt letter to yourself.

How can food be addictive?

Many people believe we are living in an epidemic of addiction. Everyone seems to have a vice, whether it’s food, shopping, drugs, alcohol, gaming, or even social media. The food addiction epidemic is likely due to processing. The more processed something is, the more addictive it is too, and we see this with various foods.

Eating "crappy carbs" – those high in simple sugars and low in nutrients – can indeed temporarily boost serotonin levels in the brain. Serotonin, often termed the "happiness hormone," plays a crucial role in regulating mood and social behavior. However, we need healthier sources.

Dopamine, often referred to as the "feel-good hormone," is essential for our sense of desire, pleasure, anticipation, and learning. It fuels our interest in life, playing a crucial role in how we experience enjoyment and motivation. While certain foods, especially stimulants like sugar, white starches, and grains, can boost dopamine levels, relying solely on diet for this dopamine rush can be unhealthy.

Endorphins, often described as the body's natural painkillers, play a key role in relieving pain and stress. They're like internal opiates, helping us cope in difficult situations. Certain foods, such as chocolate, sugar, dairy, and spices, are known to trigger endorphin release, providing a quick feel-good boost. However, relying on these foods for endorphin highs can lead to unhealthy eating habits.

Tolerance = Down-Regulation Of D2 Receptors.

• “Frequently overeating highly palatable foods saturates the brain with so much dopamine that it eventually adapts by desensitizing itself, reducing the number of cellular receptors that recognize and respond to the neurochemical.”

Often people who struggle with elevated weight or obesity struggle with self-smoothing techniques. Self-soothing techniques can be highly effective in these situations.

Cravings can be seen as “lies”, i.e.:

• Have a little bit, you can handle it

• Don’t worry, you will start the diet tomorrow

• I deserve a treat today

• It’s too hard to eat right today, I’m too stressed, too sad, and nothing is going my way

• You have to have it! When will you get to eat this kind of food again?

Sometimes the voice is demanding, urgent, sometimes harsh and critical

Embracing the Power of Mindset in Our Journey to Success

"80% of success in life is psychology and 20% is mechanics." This profound quote reminds us that the journey to success is about the internal resilience, mindset, and beliefs we hold.

The concept of a "Vicious Cycle" is an insightful lens through which to understand how discouragement can impede personal progress and well-being. This cycle often begins with negative self-perceptions and thoughts. For example, you might find yourself criticizing your appearance, berating your eating habits, or lamenting over perceived time wasted. These negative thoughts inevitably lead to feelings of discouragement, hopelessness, and emotional exhaustion.

The concept of a "virtuous cycle" refers to a sequence of events that positively reinforce each other, leading to increasingly beneficial outcomes. This cycle often involves a feedback loop where the output of one stage becomes the input for another, further enhancing the overall effect.

Embarking on a journey as a spiritual seeker can be a profoundly enriching experience, especially when integrated into everyday activities. Consider choosing a spiritual or inspirational teacher whose teachings resonate with you. This could be anyone from Eckhart Tolle, known for his teachings on presence and consciousness, to Thich Nhat Hanh, a master of mindfulness and compassion.

The essence of a fulfilling life is a journey, not just a destination—a beautiful tapestry woven from our experiences, dreams, and the love we share.

Our lives are mirrors of our surroundings. What we allow into our space, who we listen to, what we watch, and who we surround ourselves with, shape us more than we realize.

Today, I want to talk about something close to my heart: the journey of divorcing our weight from our eating habits. It's a path of self-love, acceptance, and understanding that the number on the scale does not define our worth.

Dispelling Top Myths About Obesity and Elevated Weight

Obesity and weight management are topics that often come with a lot of misconceptions and myths. It’s important to approach these issues with kindness, understanding, and accurate information. Let's debunk some of these common myths together.

Obesity is a hormonal, not a caloric imbalance.”

Kong LC et al. Insulin resistance and inflammation predict kinetic body weight changes in response to dietary weight loss and maintenance in overweight and obese subjects by using a Bayesian network approach. Am J Clin Nutr. 2013 Dec; 98(6): 1385-94

Exercise isn't just about the body; it's a boon for the mind too. It releases endorphins, improving mood and reducing symptoms of depression and anxiety. Plus, it often leads to better sleep, essential for mental sharpness.

Rethinking Beauty Standards: Beyond "Thin is Beautiful"

The idea that "thin is beautiful" is not only misleading but also culturally limited and harmful. Beauty standards vary widely across the globe; in many cultures, a fuller figure signifies beauty, health, and status, challenging the Western obsession with thinness.

Willpower is often mistakenly seen as the key to weight management, but this oversimplifies a complex issue. Relying solely on willpower is unsustainable, as it's a limited resource that can be depleted by stress or fatigue.

Five basic steps in weight management

1. Reduce: Added sugar

2. Reduce: Refined carbs

3. Have appropriate protein intake

4. Increase consumption of natural fats

5. Increase consumption of fiber

6. Increase water consumption.

The attached Food Journal will help you understand your relationship with food. It will help you discover your personal patterns of eating that are both helpful and unhelpful.

As you consistently collect data on When you eat, Why you eat, What you eat… You’ll will begin to understand what drives you to eat. You will gain the most valuable information when you record meals that have not gone to your plan. ***Drop the judgment to find answers and solutions.

The True Nature of Success

Success is not a straight line; it’s a rhythm of progress and setbacks. It’s important to realize that setbacks are not regressions. Every challenge contributes to our growth. We never unlearn or undo our evolution; each step back is a lesson, enriching our journey.

Relapse and setbacks are not just common, but an almost inevitable part of the journey for anyone battling food addiction. It's important to remember that these moments don't define your progress or the entirety of your journey; they are just bumps along the road to recovery.

Emotional eating is a complex challenge many face in their journey towards healthier living. "The Diet Trap Solution" by Judith S. Beck and Deborah Beck Busis offers insightful strategies to overcome these traps. Let's delve into some of the key emotional eating traps highlighted in the book and how to navigate them.

Planning for High-Risk Times

In our journey towards a healthier lifestyle, it's important to recognize and manage the high-risk times for overeating. These moments can often derail our best intentions, but with awareness and planning, we can navigate them successfully. Let’s explore the top three high-risk times: travel, holidays, and evenings, and discuss strategies to manage them.

Creating Your Meal Plan

Creating a personalized meal plan that caters to your specific health needs, activity levels, age, and cultural preferences is not just a step towards better health, but also a loving act of self-care.

Creating a healthy relationship with food is like building a supportive village. At its heart is an internal environment filled with kindness and nurturing.

Congratulations on Completing the 90-Day "Why Love Matters" Program!

You did it! Today, I am filled with immense pride and a touch of bittersweet emotion as we mark the conclusion of our transformative 90-day journey through the "Why Love Matters" program. It has been an absolute honor and privilege to guide you through this path of self-discovery and healing.

Download recipes below.

"Your beliefs become your thoughts,

Your thoughts become your words,

Your words become your actions, 

Your actions become your habits,

Your habits become your values,

Your values become your destiny.” 

Mahatma Gandhi 

What makes a conversation crucial?

The results could have a huge impact on the quality of life. Communication problems lie in how people behave when others disagree with them about high-stakes, emotional issues