Week 7
Low Self-Esteen Patterns in Codependency
In "Codependent No More," Melody Beattie addresses the crippling issue of low self-worth in codependency. Codependents often prioritize others' needs over their own, perpetuating self-neglect. Beattie underscores that their self-value becomes contingent on being needed, locking them into a caretaker role that undermines their own health and happiness.
Beattie reveals that codependents tend to live in denial, ignoring their own needs and emotions to focus on others. This self-denial leads them to tolerate, and sometimes enable, harmful behaviors in relationships, believing this is the price of love and belonging. The codependent's self-neglect is thus compounded by a denial of their dire relational dynamics.
Lastly, Beattie examines the obsessive behaviors stemming from codependents' low self-esteem. They fixate on controlling others' lives to feel valued, paradoxically diminishing their sense of self-worth. Beattie advocates for self-awareness and self-love as the keys to breaking free from these destructive patterns and fostering a self-sufficient identity.
Action Steps:
Low-Self Esteem Patterns: How many of these statements are true for you?
Codependents often :
have difficulty making decisions
judge what they think, say, or do harshly, as never good enough
are embarrassed to receive recognition, praise, or gifts
value others’ approval of their thinking, feelings, and behavior over their own
seek recognition and praise to overcome feeling less than
have difficulty admitting a mistake
need to appear to be right in the eyes of others and may even lie to look good
are unable to identify or ask for what they need and want
look to others to provide their sense of safety
have trouble setting healthy priorities and boundaries