Week 7
Embracing Detachment with Love
This means accepting that everyone has the freedom to make their own choices and follow their unique paths, even if we don't agree with them.
Understanding that each person's journey is personal and filled with their own lessons is key. While it's tough to see loved ones struggle, stepping in to 'rescue' them can hinder their growth. They need to experience life, make mistakes, and learn from them.
The principle of 'live and let live' is central here. It teaches us to support and love from a distance, respecting others' right to live their lives as they see fit. It's about unconditional love and acceptance, empowering them rather than controlling their choices.
Let's offer each other kindness and understanding, honoring the individual journeys we all must undertake.
Action Steps:
Strike a Balance Between Your Values and Self-Love
The purpose of this exercise is to determine how to balance your self-love and self-care with helping others. When doing this exercise, I want you to consider someone in your life with whom you struggle to maintain boundaries, someone who often leaves you depleted.
First thing’s first—define what your needs are. Start with the basics: sleep, healthy meals, time spent outdoors, meditation, and movement.
Step #1: List your needs to be well:
In a codependent relationship, both individuals tend to overlook their own needs in order to please the other person. As a result, each person ends up feeling drained and resentful. If you find yourself in a codependent relationship, it is important to take a step back and assess your needs. What are you sacrificing in order to keep the other person happy? Is it your time, your interests, or your dreams?
Once you have identified your needs, you can start taking the steps necessary to fulfill them. This may mean setting aside time for yourself, pursuing your own interests, or communicating your needs. It is also important to remember that you cannot make the other person happy; only they can do that. By taking care of yourself and setting boundaries, you can begin to build a healthier, more balanced relationship.
Step #2: What am I willing to give?
Identify a person or institution (i.e. work, church, etc.) with which you may be codependent.
Now consider how much time and energy you have left to give after all your needs are met. What can you comfortably give in terms of time, energy, and sometimes even finances? You may also find that it’s better not to give in this situation, and that’s okay.
Time: _______________________________________________________________________________
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Energy: ______________________________________________________________________________
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Finances: _____________________________________________________________________________
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This is your quota for helping this person or institution. Once you’ve reached your quota for the week, month, or year (whatever you set out), then it is time to release this person or institution to find their own way. Otherwise, you may be robbing them of the opportunity to grow stronger. This is not an easy road, but it is often the road to freedom for you both.